I should be the happiest woman alive!

Where to start..?
I am getting married in a little over 2 weeks, to the most amazing man in the world. David & I have been through so much in the short 2 years we have been together and knowing that I am marrying this man gives me indescribable feelings.
We just found out that we are pregnant! I have yet to go to the doctor, but we will get there. I am happy, so happy, but Im worried, very worried. As most of you know we have 3 little girls already, and David is leaving for Afghanistan verryyy soon. I pray every day that he will be able to come home for the birth, but even so he will have to leave again, and return when the baby is almost 6 months old. Thats depressing. I have some of the greatest friends here and I have no doubt they will go above and beyond to help me out while David is gone, because they do it while he is home. I just havnt let all of this hit home yet I guess.
We bought a new car, with 3 rows. =)) & its MOMMYS CAR!
Yet somehow, I am not excited, well lets say, I dont FEEL excited about anything. I am just...Bluh. Maybe it all hasnt sank in, maybe its hormones, I dont know. I wish I did. I know I am happy with everything, except him leaving. I am just not excited, not as much as I feel I should be I guess. Maybe it doesnt feel real yet?
When will it?
Maybe it is all just too bittersweet? Yes, we are getting married, but then he leaves for a year. Yes we are having a baby, but he is going to miss so much. I am horrible, absolutely horrible at finding the positives in life. To most people my life seems so perfect. I have an amazing man to call mine, 3 beautiful healthy kids who dont want for a thing in life, and one more on the way, a great life.....Why am I the only one who cant see just that?

Mrs. Dawson

Brittany, because I love you =))

Photoshop

                  

The product of my bordem! =))

I am teaching myself how to use Photoshop.

This is the way I keep myself busy and not thinking about all the craziness that has been happening.

I made these for some of my best friends!

Whine, Whine, Whine.

I feel like thats all I do lately. I try so hard not to. We are supposed to be the strong confident ones. Yadda freakin YA! That time will come but right now I want to let it all out!
I should atleast update that things are going better with the bestie's husband. I feel like we get along much better and are so much more comfortable with each other! So thats a definate plus. Helps releive some stress.
I feel like there is just too much in my head to go on about right now. I swear eventually I will find the time to "let it all out"! Myself and some of my best friends are preparing ourselves for deployments and such and things are....Crazy. I want to be there for them so much. I want to help them. I want to be there when they need a shoulder, an ear, a hand. At the same time...I feel the need to keep to myself and...WHINE!

...its the life we live...

So I know that along with the Navy comes CHANGE, and I hate it. Not only the change that comes along with our marriages and families but with our friends as well. Being in a commited relationship or a marriage makes friendships a little harder sometimes, I think. You can get along with someone sooo well, but if their SO doesnt like you or your SO it can make hanging out really hard.
So yes, if you're wondering, this rambling is going somewhere. My very very good friend, probably the best friend I have, has her hubby back now! I am so happy for her, I know how much deployments freakin blow, for lack of a better word, and how much simpler life can get when you have your hubby back. & Yes, I can be realistic, I know that time with friends goes down when your husband comes back, especially after 8 months. Its not that I even expect all of her time anymore, although Iv come to be pretty used to it, lol. I just feel like....well to put it simply..I feel like her husband hates me, although Im not sure why. He hated me while he was gone but I thought that was only because he had been gone so long and I was always with his wife. Today is the first time I met him, and I thought we got along well until he decided against her idea of coming over to my house =((. I could just be paranoid and he may have just wanted to be HOME since he has spent so little time there lately. Then I heard of them going to another friends, or out with another friend, later that day and that made me a little sadder. Yes, maybe Im slightly jealous. She was my first REAL friend out here. Its not like I want to be in the middle of their marriage. Its not even that Im complaining about not seeing her. Im just upset that I feel like he would rather they not see me. Im not sure if any of this even makes sense. I can see why people think we really are "together" lol I sound like her nagging wife! lol
I guess the point in this is that, I feel like her hubby hates me, and doesnt want her around me, and Im not entirely sure if thats going to change how good our friendship has been or not. Just stinks.
On a positive note for today I got to see My Brittany! Oh how Iv missed her! I guess I should now call her MRS. DAWSON! Shes such an amazing friend to just, talk with, have a good laugh with! Shes always my upper! =)). & DAvid REALLY like hanging out with RJ and Sam as well! I was so glad they got along! I think David needs some new friends, that I approve of! lol. Sam is one of the greatest, and I "think" her hubby likes me, or can atleast tolerate me! =)) lol.
Oh geez, So i guess its ups and downs, Maybe it will all work itself out in the end.
We are so close to going home to Indiana, Im not sure that I am excited though! =//. I like getting to see everyone but I want to spend a very SMALL amount of time there. I love my friends and family but I LOVE BEING HOME, MY HOME. We will be there long enough to throw Madisyn a bday party and thats about it. I cant believe my baby will be THREE! Ahhh where did the time go!?
After the bday party the girls will be staying at their daddys house for a few weeks. Im not happy about it, but I am trying to think on the positive side that it will give David and I some time together before he leaves for a year =((. We are going to get MARRIED, and take our own minivacation//honeymoon =)) & buy a new car while the girls are away! lol
Oh so much going on lately I could go on forever, But Ill save you the boredm =))

Its been a while..

                                                                             

Iv spent so much time working on buttons and headers and signatures for some of the other ladies that I have barely had time to post! I enjoy doing it though and from what they tell me, they like them, so its fun, and rewarding!

Things on the homefront have been going well. A few Pre-Deployment spats, but hey what can ya do!?

Mr. Anthony Martinez & the USS Ramage are due to come in tomorrow! Im SO Super excited for my bestie, Sarah! =)). Its been a long time coming and like all of us, it hasnt been easy on her! I hope tomorrow becomes the THIRD best day of your life! [Falling behind having Alex, and getting married lol]

So between helping Sarah get ready for homecoming, and preparing ourselves for deployment things have been crazy! Iv been occupying myself as much as possible with some of my own things. I have started selling AVON! Im excited about it. Iv got a pretty good list of clients started =)) My website is YourAVon.com/AlisheauWAlters if you want to do some ordering yourself! & Also, like I said, I have been working on graphics and things for some of the girls.

David reenlisted on Wed. I am so proud of him. Minus the part where he didnt tell me I would have to stand up in front of everyone and receive an "appreciation certificate" I could have died! lol It was a good feeling though. I brought it home and framed it! lol Now he will never forget that I am "appreciated"! lol. We feel that so little in our life as Navy wives that I actually enjoy seeing it hanging on the wall!
I feel like Im rambling. I just wanted to catch things up so I dont get too far behind! BAck to working on more buttons for my loves =))