Toddler Prison.

Before I begin to spill my feelings on this subject I just want to say that my soon to be hubby is an amazing man. He is hard woking, loving, sweet and ....just honestly one the the nicest guys you will ever meet. He is a wonderful father, SO, Sailor, Son, & Uncle. I wouldnt trade my life with him for the world. I post this reminder because I am extremelly upset at the moment and I dont want anything I say to come off as a bad impression of the kind of man he is.

I, however, am stuck in TODDLER PRISON!!

Im not sure he totally understands the effects that spending all day, every day with a 6, 4, & 2 year old can have on a person. I have very little patience and very little sanity left.

As many of you know I have never spent a day of my life since I was 15 NOT working. Before I met David I worked every day of my life, most times 12 hours a day. I had my own house, car, and took care of my kids on my own. Ever since David & I have been together I have not worked a single day. All of my time as been spent as a housewife/stay at home mom. I love and appreciate my husband very much for giving me this opportunity. I am glad that I am able to see my kids so much more than I did when I worked my ass off every day. I love that I will have the chance to send them off to school in the morning and see them off the bus in the afternoon. So many parents miss out on these little things so often these days.

You may ask then, "If she is so appreciative, why the rambling post of Toddler Prison?"
I love my kids dearly, but God made me with a very, very, verrrrry low amount of patience. I am easily irritated throughout the day. & as some of you know a 6, 4, & 2 year old can wear that down pretty thin.

I have been in VA for about a year and a half and recently my soon to be hubby started complaining that I didnt want to go make any friends. I didnt feel the need to make any friends, Im not a freindly person, I seldom get along with groups of females because there  is just too much drama to be had. Sooo, I did meet a few wives here and there and I love them ALL Dearly! Sometimes I wonder how I lived without them. The majority of our "getting to know each other" stages were done so while the hubby was underway so there were no problems then. I have not spent a night out, a day out, from my family although Iv made these friends, while the hubby is home. I am a mom and I have no interest in being out partying & leaving him to tend to the kids. I have though, asked him to watch them for THIRTY MINUTES to AN HOUR so that I can go with one of the girls tanning. My hubby has been home from his underway for 10 days. Of these 10 days I have been tanning 3 times. THREE.  So in 3 days time he has watched our girls, plus Alex (18 months), for a total of MAYBE 2 hours. & let me just add that these 3 days were NOT consecutive. Other than going tanning, I do not LEAVE MY HOUSE at all, for ANY amount of time, unless I go sit out back, and even then my time is spent making sure the kids dont run away or kill one another.

So then I noticed something was wrong with him today just by the short, evasive texts I was getting. I asked what I did...& I got "Iv been feeling like you pay more attention to me when I'm at work and when I get home I get nothing except for "watch the kids" even though Iv been at work all day. Atleast you get some help. Im just frustrated with it." I am not completely cold hearted. I do understand that he works hard for our family EVERY DAY. On the THREE occasions I have asked him to watch the girls I have first: fed them, bathed them, and put them to bed, & put the baby gate up on their room. So in all fairness he has really only had Alex to tend to and there is a playpen that He can be put in and WAS put in when we got home each time. One of the times I bathed the kids, fed them and then he was asked to put them in bed, (which is pretty simple) and put the gate up. How then should I have to feel bad?

He makes it sound as though we have a revolving door and he walks in from work & I walk out.

I know that I signed up for some hard times when I chose this life, but I DID NOT sign up for having absolutely no time to myself with out 3 screaming kids in my ear. I do not think that 30 minutes 3 days a week is asking for too much. I do value what little sanity I have left, and if I cant have just this little bit of me time...said sanity will not be long lived.

Each of these times that I have went tanning I have first let him know or asked if it would be okay and his response each time " Yea sure baby go ahead, I dont mind watching the kids." --((On another note, its not WATCHING THE KIDS when they are yours, Its being a father!)) I spend all day every day here with the kids, how am I not allowed 30-60 minutes away, without a guilt trip from him!? I dont do it EVERYDAY & I finish things up around here and leave very little for him to deal with when I do leave the house.

I dont feel like he is being fair at all. Is a relationship not supposed to be "meet in the middle". I feel like Im giving my all to make him happy and getting nothing in return. Yes, he goes to work everyday, and works hard to provide for our family and protect our country, but Im not in this relationship for the paycheck he brings home. That cant be his only form of "give" in this relationship. I know what it is like to work and provide for my kids. Im not a spoiled wife who doesnt appreciate what her husband does for her, but I need more. I need to be able to hold on to my sanity. He has never asked, but once, to go out with the guys. & He did go when he wanted to that time. Im not even asking for time to go "hang out" with the girls, I just want an hour to go TANNING! UGHH, how is that asking for too much. I cant bring myself to understand. He acts like I use that revolving door and toss him a "to-do" list on my way out. =(

It seems to me that he wont be {Happy} unless I spend all day cleaning and cooking and tending to the kids needs. Wait for him to come home, Pick up after the trail he leaves through the house when he arrives. Serve him dinner, watch whatever he wants to watch on tv, and then come to bed at 7 or 8pm when he is ready, [give him what he wants] & then let him roll over and go to sleep. =//

Yes, I realize this is what every man would love. Yes, I realize all women think they are crazy.

I do clean all day, most days. Our house stays VERY clean. [I suffer from OCD]-&  I say suffer because it does get on MY nerves sometimes as well as everyone around me. ((Today I organized my BANDAIDS!)) Do I move everything everyday and whiteglove my house? NO. But it does stay clean and neat and everything is in its place. He never has to do a thing, except pick up his own clothes and put them in the basket, which if you follow my facebook posts you know he RARELY DOES. He does take the trash out MOST DAYS & On occasion before we got our dishwasher he did do the dishes.-RARELY. I do make dinner on most every night, excpet lately because A trip to the grocery store is desperately needed but he has the car all day at work so I never have time to go.  & Im sorry dear but I am NOT tired at 7 or 8 pm. Exhausted? Yes! REady to Relax? Yes. REady to close my eyes and fall asleep? No. I do try to come up and lay with him until he falls asleep and most times I end up on the computer in bed because I am just so bored laying here....What else am I going to do?

I have no arguement against giving him what he wants, we will leave that one alone =)

It just seems that he pushed and pushed for me to make friends, and now that I have, He hates me for it.

Maybe Hate is too strong of a word =//.

I dont know how to feel about this. I dont know how to fix this. I can not just give up every second of my life to taking care of this family and not having a single solitary moment to myself. I cant do it. He has to meet me in the middle. There has to be an agreement that can be made. Im not sure what else I can do. I feel like Im coming way past the middle by putting the kids in bed before I even ask to leave.

ADVICE LADIES PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.